About That

Mother's Day was over two weeks ago now.  A beautiful Sunday.  But I guess you all probably knew that.  I don't have high expectations for the day.  In fact, the first few years, I wandered around with a grin on my face so wide... BEING a mother was good enough for me.  When motherhood eludes you for the first eight years of your marriage, your appreciation for the fact it actually happened provides a little noise reduction to the voices in your head producing unrealistic expectations of grandiose honorary pampering.  You are a mother.  That is enough.

So on Sunday morning, I did the "rise and shine" thing.  I knew I had to prep a fruit medley and coleslaw salad to take over to Craig's sister for a grill out with the other mother's in his family.  I like this sort of plan.  No fighting crowds at local restaurants catering to the "let's take Mom out for dinner" madness with a mediocre brunch and a wilted flower.  A low key lunch with other people we love.  It was a quiet morning.  Craig had been sleeping in a bedroom upstairs because of his back problems and the boys had been sleeping with us in ours.  I enjoyed waking up early to the sweet, angelic faces smashed up against my arm.  Kisses all around.  I am so thankful to be their mother.  Six a.m. turned into seven a.m.  Seven a.m. turned into eight a.m.  Eight a.m. turned into nine a.m.  Not a creature was stirring.  Not even a mouse.

Here lies the problem.  I have now been working non-stop prepping for the Mother's Day meal for three hours waiting for the sleepy heads to make an appearance.  I am not dressed.  They are not awake.  They are not dressed.  Daddy takes long showers.  I want to get a pre-meeting (we call our home church gatherings meetings) Mother's Day picture with my boys all dressed up.  We have to be there by ten a.m. which means we need to leave no later than a half an hour.  There's also a bit of recent "history" with our chronic lateness adding a little extra tension in my shoulders over the realization we are likely going to be late. Again.  Can you feel my blood pressure rising?  When I finally make the ascent to the second floor bedroom to wake up my husband, let's just say... Momma's not happy.  When the boys refuse to eat the $5 Dutch letters (too expensive!) I bought them as a special treat for breakfast as I frantically try to cram their limbs into turned inside out shirt sleeves, thar she blows.  I needed to banish myself to our bedroom.  Immediately.  All of this punctuated by a perfectly slammed bedroom door.  I had not done this in years.  Honest.  I was actually surprised I didn't trap myself in the bedroom as I had previously by slamming it so hard it went through the door jam.  The other way.

When I make my appearance after the eruption, Gavyn says, "I hate it when you get mad at us, Mommy."  About that.  I do, too, Gavie.  I do, too.  The rest of my Mother's Day was beautiful.  And perfect.  Not even kidding.

There Was a Little Girl...

...who had a little curl...

This is a story about dear Kendra and how she got to me.  In December of 2008, Scott and Kendra took a trip to Mexico.  At this juncture, I did not know Kendra.  Never met her before in my life.  I was, however, actually researching lots of vacation options to somewhere warm.  And wow were there options.  I had no idea where to start and when spending that sort of money, I certainly didn't want to make a bad decision about where to go.  Somehow, through mutual friends, I stumbled on Kendra's Facebook vacation pictures.  I "creeped" on her a little bit and then finally mustered up the courage to private message her to find out where they went.  Secrets Capri, it turns out.  And it was lovely, she said.  You must go.  And then she friended me on Facebook.  And that's the tale of how we became friends.

So just a few months later in February of 2009 over Valentine's Day, we did.  Visit Secrets Capri on the Riviera Maya in Mexico, that is.  And she was right.  It was lovely.  And thanks to losing my camera on the trip home, the only pictures I ended up with were the pictures of me with the same monkey she had hugged just a few months earlier.  She wrote me on February 19th:

"That is such a bummer about your camera!!! You can take some of ours of the resort if you want! glad you liked it, and Im glad you got the monkey pictures! isnt he just the cutest!! You're hair is cute to! did you go into town? I am ready to go back thats for sure!"

My husband and I liked it so much we did indeed go back in February of 2010. Just a little over a month later on March 24th, Kendra posted some news on Facebook.  She had cancer.  Breast cancer.  And through an unfortunate set of circumstances of doctors failing to give her a correct diagnosis/failing to give her condition more serious attention, she had already reached Stage 4.  And it was in her liver, too.  It took her breath away.  It took my breath away.  In fact, my own words to her were:

"This news  really was a kick in the gut tonight when I checked FB.  My friend, Michelle, is fighting lymphoma right now and sometimes I just have to have a good cry. We're usually crying at different times, so we balance each other out. Now I'm going to have to have another one (cry, that is). I was walking by some pink 'Fight Like a Girl' shirts at Scheels on Monday and now I'm thinking I need to go back and get me one.  You're 'KICK IT!!!!' attitude is going to come in handy. Lots of ups and downs will come (they always do), but so glad you have a great support system to help you through them."

In her response, she expressed some fears, but how she would then hand it to God and he would give her peace and take away her fear.  She said she was going to kick it.  She was going to fight like a girl.  And fight she did.  She fought with all her might.  And miraculously, she came out on top.  They had a wig burning.  And then her hair started to grow in.  She looked like a cute little pixie.  In spring of 2011, she went to Jamaica with her husband and some good friends.  Then again, she went to Jamaica in March of 2012 with her parents and aunt & uncle. This time around her hair had grown long enough to be put in braids again and she looked adorable. But.  Something was going on again.  She was having back pain that wouldn't go away.  So, on April 12th, she went to the doctor.  I'm not sure what the news was, but it wasn't the news we were wanting.  Her "c" was back.  Forever, the master of putting a positive spin on things, her announcement was that it wasn't the news she was hoping for, but the good part was maybe she wouldn't lose her hair. After all, she said she kicked it once, so why couldn't she do it again.

On the morning of April 27th, I had a feeling I couldn't shake.  Things weren't going well for Kendra.  I didn't know.  But I did know.  I stood in the shower that morning and I cried.  And as the warm water poured over me and mingled with my tears, I prayed.  I prayed for God to be with her and her family and give them strength.  On Saturday, April 28th, we found out she had been flown to Barnes in St. Louis.  And the wonderful, beautiful little thing posted a picture of herself on Facebook and told us all to keep smiling that afternoon.  "Together we can do this," was her message.  "You tough little darlin'," I couldn't help but think with a smile.  What an amazing thing she was doing.  And then I read that she had been moved to ICU.  Midnight came.  Sleep was elusive.  I checked Facebook.  Nothing.  I prayed.  I cried a little.  And I prayed some more.  I went to bed and tried to sleep.  And when I got up early that morning, her dear brother, with all his strength and grace had declared:

"At 1:22 am Kendra got the final victory and is now having some peace. Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers.

Kendra was able to visit and expressed her love for all."

I sat there stunned.  The unaccepting part of my brain said, "Oh, she's turned the corner.  She's getting better."  And then I read it again.  The truth sank in like a rock.  As her dear sister-in-law (have you noticed how many dear people are in this story?) put it, "And the tears won't stop."

This little fighter. She said she was going to kick it. She was going to fight like a girl. And fight she did. She fought with all her might. Until one day it wasn't her lot to fight anymore. And then a strange and wonderful thing happened. Death was swallowed up in victory. I Corinthians 15:54 "When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: 'Death is swallowed up in victory.'”

And that my friends, is how this wonderful person who I never got to meet in person... this beautiful woman named Kendra... got to me.  May I never, ever forget the lessons she and her good friend, Jesus, taught me along the way.

The Star of Our Weekend

We were thrilled it worked out to see Anita.  She was the star of our weekend.  Hope sparring didn't wear her out too much.  We very much enjoyed meeting her in real live color.